You can tell you are at a different sort of raceday when the blokes directing the parking are swigging cans of Great Northern before (and well after) the first. In obligatory thongs too.
So, you know I am not at Flemington, where the gatemen are that efficient, even the wind can struggle to get in at times.
But I'm not at Hanging Rock either, another New Year's Day tradition, where picnics today are a touch safer than Joan Lindsay would have had us believe a century or so back. Kangaroos are considered a greater threat these days or betting against Aaron Lynch, who won five of the six races yesterday before giving someone else a chance in the last.
Or not at Longford either for their one day of the year, where the oldest continuous race club in Australia have their traditional Cup Day. They first raced in 1845, some three years before the Victoria Turf Club merged with the Victoria Jockey Club to become the VRC as we know it today.
No, I'm at Burrumbeet, where there is a fair bit of living history as well. It is Cup Day for the 133rd time at the most quaintly unique of racetracks, an oval which seemingly continues to turn more than a Shane Warne over and you'd want the tape measure declaring the home straight at 200m, referred to the third umpire.
Burrumbeet, meaning dirty or muddy water in the Wadawurrung language, is only 130km from Melbourne or 15 minutes from Ballarat, but it could be a million miles from anywhere and a step way back in time, even though it's once a year meeting has now been dressed up for a modern TAB fodder.
There is not much of anything at Burrumbeet, except a big lake next to the park that houses the racetrack. The rail line shut in 1987, and only about 250 people were found in the rural surrounds at the last census.
But it didn't stop a crowd of more than 4000 on a hot humid start to 2023, staking their territorial claim to whatever much needed shade the mighty gum trees would provide, along with all the usual fare of home cooked meals, endless lines for drink and food vouchers, fashions on the field contests, a Punters Club (pool $7460 before hitting a few hurdles), and an absolute one-goer in the Hannaford's Home Straight Dash where the winner beat the handicapper, daylight, and some distraught kiddie rivals.
It is one of those once-a-year catch-up places for many, it's been no surprise to see Darren Weir and his workers take block in previous years, popular tipster Deane Lester and trainer Perth trainer Simon Miller have been regulars, indeed they won a race with How's The Serenity at Ascot yesterday.
But it always comes back to the racing, run by a volunteer committee (bloodstock agent is the manager), all out of an old army hut, only about 40m long that doubles as the grandstand, owners and winner's bar, and jockeys' and stewards' rooms, all cluttered by the most magnificent throw back of hand painted Jockeys Plates, relics that were once posted as the rider's and scratchings board. The word semaphore comes actually to mind here.
You instantly recognise some like R Smerdon (then jockey), R Maund, S Arnold, R Booth, Ms C Bruce, M for Mick, not D, Gauci, an R not a B Prebble, Ms M Payne and brother P for Patrick, they are everywhere and remind you of what racing in days gone by here was like.
You may have heard the saying "there is a race for every horse", days like Burrumbeet can prove that, even with horses better qualified with their ratings for a picnic meeting.
But then there is Bulgaria, winner of the Mt Misery Sand And Soil Maiden Plate, a target Annabel Neashem probably wasn't thinking of when she paid $500,000 for the son of Invader at the 2021 Magic Millions yearling sale. (By the way, if you are interested, his half-brother by Brutal goes through next Wednesday.)
No, Annabel wasn't training Bulgaria at Burrumbeet, never gave him a start, handballed him through the Aquis system via Will Clarken in Adelaide and Kacy Fogden on the Gold Coast, who both gave him a trial before Ballarat Vet and trainer Dr Anthony Cosgriff, who has trained jumps winners in the UK at places like Ludlow and Taunton, thought "he was worth a punt" and found him online and took a $6000 gamble.
Bulgaria, ridden by Melissa Julius, wins the Mt Misery Sand & Soil Maiden Plate at Burrumbeet. Picture: Bruce Clark
"My brother Greg helped me find him, it's a big credit to him, there may be a story, we just didn't know it," said Cosgriff before revealing some story and shedding some tears in explaining the reasons why after the modest maiden victory where $11,000 jumped in but the emotions were priceless.
Melissa Julius wasn't wearing the traditional Cosgriff racing blue, white and green colors, but a set of gold and black stripes, with gold stars on the sleeves and the cap, designed by Cosgriff's son Rohan, and this is where the tears started to jerk.
"Rohan was born in England, he was 17-and-a half, not old enough to be an owner, but was a huge Wolverhampton Wanderers soccer fan, hence the Wolves inspired colours," he said.
But Rohan tragically took his own life last July without getting to see them worn to victory and the scars left are still deep. With Rohan's sister Freya supporting his father, he explained a little more after Bulgaria's win.
"It is just very hard to jump in the car and come to the races and know he should be there with you," Cosgriff said.
"Rohan was a very big part of our stable, he played footy all winter (for Waubra, the Kangaroos, who play in the Central Districts League) and would go to the races with us all summer, he loved the horses, he was so very involved."
It seemed like the entire Cosgriff extended family (many who share in the ownership of Bulgaria), were at Burrumbeet where a maiden felt like their own Cup and the $21 in the ring was just a bonus.
Andrew Homann made a few trips to the betting ring before Bay Wave won the Charles Integrated Farming Enterprise benchmark 52. If you know Slim, well that is what most of us in racing know him as, that's no surprise. So he thought the $12 was ok, but would have been happier at the $21 SP return.
It mattered little to Slim, who credits fellow trainer Mark Webb for getting his focus back on the right things of the industry after he'd admit he'd probably traversed too many dry and dusty gullies along the journey.
"There was a time when I couldn't even afford to buy a bag of feed for the horses," Homann let slip with his still cheeky self-effacing outlook.
But he could afford the $8000 to buy Bay Wave online off Richard Jolly, winless in six starts but now two from 14 for Slim, who was a Burrumbeet debutant yesterday, with his other two runners both finishing in the placings.
"Geez when I drove in here and had a look at the track I thought, what have we got here, but it's great," said Slim, still able to dine out on the stories of the says he strapped the mighty sprinter Schillaci.
And it was another online purchase, Ashy Boy who won the Cup, and the trainer, Pat Kearney will become a name far more familiar to you in coming years.
Ashy Boy was a $150,000 Magic Millions yearling for Matt Laurie but found online by Kearney for just $7500 in August 2021. He could have cashed out and sold him to Hong Kong after a Tasmanian Derby placing, but every up-and-coming stable needs a flagbearer and Ashy Boy is just that for Kearney who has a rich pedigree and CV himself, with family ties to Cliff Brown, riding at the picnics, stints with Mick Price as well as Hugo Palmer in the UK before linking with the Symon Wilde stable.
Kearney also won a maiden first-up over 1600m with a four-year-old first starter – Southern Gale – he's almost a local (Ballarat is his base), and a trainer on the rise.
The Burrumbeet Cup is the best race he has won but it won't be the best race he will win.
But in the meantime, can I recommend you wait another year and start 2024 at Burrumbeet.
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